i fucking hate my lifee!
i can never be happy. i dont even know the meaning of ‘happy’ cause honestly every time i think i am things just turn around and crash. everything caves in on me. lies and the truth come out and confusion kicks in. tears spill and screams are heard..people get hurt and you see the bitch side of everyone. people say things they don’t mean because of anger and things they have just kept inside. nothing stays the same, everything changes. i lose things all the time. mabe next time ill just end up losing my life and everything will be a whole lot better..
i feel like people wouldnt even care if i something happened to me, no one would miss me.
i don’t even know what i want anymore, i don’t know what to do. i hate my life so much..nothing ever goes right. you know something is wrong when you lose all your bestfriends. miracles don’t last long and you can’t sleep through the bad times. sometimes i just wish you could fast foreward through all the bad times, but you can’t. its times like these when you begin to appreciate everything you still have and all the things you have had. things you want back dont always come back no matter how hard you try. sometimes you just need to wait…
and people are right when they say that you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. and ”experience is a hard teacher, it gives you the test first and the lesson after” the thing about being young is that you need to get hurt and go through tough things so you can learn for the future, and no one can be there to protect you cause otherwise you’ll never learn. you need to realize that there wont always be someone there when you need them and sometimes you can only depend on yourself. you need to learn to not blame things that are your fault on other people, and things that aren’t your fault don’t blame on yourself. everything happens for a reason and i believe that.
and last night i had a dream, it wasn’t scary or happy or sad or funny. i don’t really know how to categorize it cause it wasn’t weird or boring either. but the dream i had i liked it and didn’t like it. i can’t really explain but it helped alot. dreams are sometimes the answers to your problems. and it just makes me wonder…
maybe you should think about what your saying before you even say things. this is just another pitty story.
go cry to Mathew. we don’t give a shit.
lmfaoooo.!
